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Thanks to M. Fisher and Andrew Linington of NUMAST journal for this story) Many people have written to me since I published The Complete Book of Farting; some are embarrassed about their farting and want to cover it up, some of them want to stand up and be counted as farters, but they all have stories to tell. In their honour, I have printed a selection of their confessions here. Hi, my name is Dave, and I'm a farter. In the mornings, my family and I all get in the car to drop off the children with the childminder, and then my wife gives me a lift to the station before she drives off to her own work.

My astrologist sister, Alicia Bromcie, helps you find your farting soul mate Aries (21st March to 20th April) • Competitive • Adventurous and energetic • Pioneering and courageous • Enthusiastic and confident • Foolhardy and daredevil Arien subjects are courageous leaders and as such they are the first in a room to let rip. As followers they can be troublesome and will sulk if someone beats them off the mark. In their personal relationships, Ariens are frank and direct and make food friends. If you are too shy to fart first, get together with an Aries who will lead the way for you.

Add the celery and potatoes to the pan, stir thoroughly and cover. Leave the mixture to sweat over a very low heat for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Shake the flour into the vegetable mixture and stir until incorporated. Add the stock. Bring to the boil and leave to simmer uncovered for about 10 minutes until all the vegetables are tender. Taste the soup and season with salt and lemon juice. Tip the chickpeas into a sieve and rinse. Shred the cabbage, discarding the tough stalks. Add the chickpeas to the pan.

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