Download I'm Hosting as Fast as I Can!: Zen and the Art of Staying by Tom Bergeron PDF

By Tom Bergeron

For readers of John O’Hurley’s It’s alright to pass over the mattress at the First Jump and Chelsea Handler’s Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea, daylight hours Emmy-winner Tom Bergeron—host of ABC’s Dancing with the Stars and America’s Funniest domestic Videos—offers a chain of funny and inspirational tales on surviving Hollywood, together with behind-the-camera tales with A-list celebrities.

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He’d shown up at a casting call for the Newburyport Community Theater’s production of The Fantasticks in early 1978. Not to audition. He’d decided to be a groupie, to shadow a production from its first day until its wrap party, which he graciously threw for us at his home. I say “us” because I was cast as El Gallo, the swashbuckling lead. I’m a shade over five feet nine. The actor cast as the young boy was close to six feet. When I sang “Try to Remember,” I was hoping he wouldn’t forget to slouch.

One day, while up on his high horse, he fell off. Upon hearing the news, his family came by to offer their condolences. “Such bad luck,” they said sympathetically. “Maybe” was all the wise guy replied. But then he added, “Although the pile of horse shit provided a soft landing. ” Now I’d get to deal with Dr. Joker and Mr. Hide. 7 FROZEN DISHES, BOTTLED PIGS, AND FLEXIBLE TUBING I T WAS A WINTER MORNING IN 1979. I STAGGERED BLEARY-EYED into the kitchen of our triplex apartment, the vapor from my breath entering the room just ahead of me.

Well, you get the idea. I left South Paris, Maine, and Tony’s class late in the summer of ’78 with renewed enthusiasm and a fresh approach. No longer was I an extremely pale imitation of Marcel Marceau. No more whiteface makeup. No more dual personalities in my work. With Tony’s help and encouragement, I’d found a creative intersection between radio and the stage. One sketch I wrote, The New Adventures of Pinocchio, is a perfect example. It involved the famous marionette becoming a real little boy only after winning a disco dance contest.

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