By Bill Brownstein
Think your self at domestic in your sofa, contractually obligated to stay in entrance of your satellite-rigged tv for a interval of 7 days, on the finish of which you'll produce a humorous yet penetrating account of your journey-a digital one-through the unusual and culturally revealing panorama of the 200-channel universe. invoice Brownstein did simply that, and Down the Tube is his hilarious survival advisor, entire with the specialist testimony of a psychologist who stored tabs at the sofa potato's psychological country. the writer of the riotous intercourse Carnival charts his week at the sofa during this most up-to-date odyssey with a cynical eye and incessant wit. Brownstein meditates on such vital questions as: should still Pamela Anderson sue the health professional who botched her breast relief? Are these humans on Springer for genuine? hi there, do they nonetheless play reruns of The Waltons? not anyone is proof against Brownstein's wry wit, now not even big-name celebrities like Oprah, Regis, and Jerry Seinfeld.
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Extra info for Down The Tube: The Diary of My Week in TV Hell. 200 Channels. No Escape.
We picked the right butt. Indeed, the mooner was number two. M. We've come to the Learning channel for insights on dating. But not for very long. M. Flash from the past. I Love Lucy. RicWcldckkkkky! Lucccccccccccccy! Ay, caramba! M. Dr. Sam says he must go to work. I have my doubts. I think the tube has already done him in after a 32 DOIUN THE TUBE mere sixty-one minutes. He's in denial. Promises to visit me again real soon here in solitary. Initial prognosis of patient (me): attention focused; spirits fine.
Olympic archery team. Geena did well. She came in twenty-fourth out of a field of thirty-two. Hey, it's a start. There's probably a method to her madness. I think I'll take up trampoline jumping and try to bounce my way to Olympic gold. M. Roger Lodge, host of Blind Date, visits Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus and gives Cybill Shepherd the skinny on dating. These people all speak in the sort of platitudes designed to elicit the perfect response from the audience. ); "Be generous. Be sweet.
She is one kick-ass babe. M. Bush/Gore debate. " Say what? Wait a second! One of these guys is going to be the leader of the so-called Free World, and neither is terribly convincing. They're tripping over cliches. One of them has a command of the language and the world that's as acute as that of a guest dysfunctional on Springer; he's actually been described as a few fries short of a Happy Meal. The other is about as self-satisfied as Regis and has likely never even lined up for a Happy Meal. Problem is that the stakes are a whole lot larger than a TV show here.